STATEMENT: Addicts Know What’s Best For Their Own Bodies
According to a statement released today by the Department of Health Services, drug addicts “don’t need any more help and can make their own decisions.” […]
News
BREAKING: “Elementary School Is A Myth” Declares Committee
In a shocking report released by a special investigative committee earlier this week, it has been revealed that elementary school, defined here as an institution […]
STUDY: Most Birds Are Flightless
A study published yesterday in Bird Facts Quarterly confirmed what some Americans have theorized for generations: Most birds cannot actually fly.
EXCLUSIVE: Are You Living at the Wrong Address?
As many as 80% of Americans, or roughly 270,000,000 people, are living at the incorrect street address or house number according to a new report […]
REPORT: One Foot Is Actually Eleven Inches
A report released by an independent study group revealed that the unit of measurement known as a “foot” is actually eleven inches.
BREAKING: Water Not Wet
Although the wetness of water has not entered the sphere of public debate in quite some time, a recent discovery made by a Coudersport, PA […]