White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer announced today that everyone is telling the truth all the time and that lying is impossible.
The confused members of the press corps tried to ask follow-up questions, but were quickly silenced when Spicer continued by saying “and that goes double for me and the President.”
Although President Trump was unavailable for comment, Spicer maintained his stance, saying that his words “were basically the President’s words.”
“Even if it were possible for me to lie, right here in front of the members of the press, I wouldn’t do it,” said Spicer. “But, of course, it’s impossible, so there’s no reason to check any of the facts that I state.”
The relationship between The White House and the ability to lie has been contentious at times. From lying about sexual escapades, to lying about our involvement in overseas conflicts, to lying about whether or not citizens would be able to keep their doctors under new healthcare laws, the U.S. Executive Branch has a long, seasoned history of lying to the American public.
However, according to Spicer, all of that has changed now that lying is impossible.
“There are people out there, including dishonest members of the press, that will try to tell you that our Administration is lying about many things, including the ratings and attendance of the Inauguration,” said Spicer. “Those people are lying.”
When asked how these people could be lying when lying itself is impossible, Spicer sighed and threw his hands up in frustration.
“Look, I just say what the President tells me to say,” said Spicer.